It’s bee a hard few weeks for me. As the weather outside is freakishly warm for the season I have been cooped up inside as my body tries to kill me once again. Pounding migraines, wrath of God styled cramps, wrenching stomach pains, severe nausea, it was having a blast seeing whatever it could throw at me… and somewhere in all that there were the mice.
I am happy to announce that I was able to feed them, in the dark, shielding my eyes, and all three are still alive and kicking and nearly weaned. They have been a wonderful bit of light in what has been an emotionally and physically daunting stretch of days. And their personalities are really shining through now – one’s a piglet in mouse form and escapes whatever enclosure he’s in to come track me down and beg for milk. This has resulted in me sitting on him and nearly killing him when I didn’t know he was there but we’re both alive to tell the tale. Not so much can be said of Emma, my original angora rabbit who came down rather suddenly with a case of hind limb paralysis and died soon after. It’s not unusual for older bunnies, especially of these chunkier varieties, but it was still sad. I have now lost half the rabbits I moved in with just a few months ago as well as Special, the resident Rex cat.
I am left with Oliver, my Belgian Hare, who loves to free range in the house and is the only man worthy enough to share my life right now. He’s smart, too smart, and constantly getting into trouble. He also thinks he’s a cat, ruins whatever he can get his paws on, and jumps up onto things with a lack of fear befitting a polar bear. Still, how can you not love that cute face?? And then I have three angoras left. I thought I would have all the time in the world to groom and enjoy them here but actually I am far busier off the farm than on and grooming them here… well it’s not nearly as fun. Back when I was on the farm I’d take them one by one onto the porch overlooking the pasture and just comb, comb, comb, enjoying the sun, the sound of chickens, and the beautiful view. Now I find myself shaving them down instead of having to comb them as I have no view and the backyard here is laughable… looks more like a junkyard than a pasture.
Still, with the failing of my fundraising campaign, it looks like I may be here, in a house I know is making my health at least a thousand times worse, for a loooong time, so I better make the best of it. I have plans in the spring of turning the entire back yard into a giant garden with a space set aside to raise some meat rabbits and quail – just about the only thing I can raise on this damn culdesac without getting in trouble for. Granted this will not be the grand and large operation I once had but it’ll be a little something to distract me and use my skills.
This is not to say I have given up. I most certainly have not done that. I will continue to claw at the glass hill before me until my fingers are bloody stubs if that’s what it takes to get out of here and be set up and OK on my own. In the meantime I am pushing really hard in these colder months to get a lot done whenever I can – this includes a lot of writing, a lot of sculpting, and a lot of going out to various art shows and craft fairs. Likely this will result in my weekends being full and my weeks spent in total torpor (as winter always kills my body) but I will go as far as I can.
Today my frustration lies in WordPress and Google AdSense. Someone asked me why I wasn’t monetizing my blogs – blogs are reportedly a good source of income. Perhaps because I didn’t have the word monetize to look up and have always wondered how blogs could be of any real value… Apparently through ads! So I signed up for Google AdSense and despite their picky process they approved Catching Marbles, the one blog I submitted to test it out. That’s great! Except then I learned WordPress.com and WordPress.org are two very different sites… WordPress.com, which hosts all my blogs, does not allow Google AdSense. I figured this out when after a day of reading technical gibberish I finally managed to paste the code where it needed to go only to find…. it didn’t work. Took me a couple hours to figure out why. And then another hour to come up with a possible solution. I tell you, I need a goddamn secretary or something, because as much as I enjoy writing and taking photos this technical bullshit I have to do makes me want to cry!
So my possible solutions: Move my websites to a different web host which does allow Google AdSense, or upgrade my WordPress website again and make due with their answer to AdSense which is their own brand new and likely not terribly viable ad program WordAd. Seems like it wouldn’t be able to pay for the upgrade to begin with…. yet I don’t know what moving to a different host would be like and the idea sort of makes me want to rip all my hair out… but maybe it won’t be so bad? I don’t know. I’m irritated at this point but still fighting. I am going to get something to work, anything, or die trying!